


Broken

by alyssa146



Series: Broken [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bottom Jared, Crying, Depression, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Falling In Love, Hurt Jared Padalecki, M/M, Nightmares, Older Jensen Ackles, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Possessive Jensen, Protective Jensen, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Teacher Jensen, Teacher-Student Relationship, Top Jensen, True Love, Young Jared Padalecki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-21
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-03 07:29:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 20,768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10962573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyssa146/pseuds/alyssa146
Summary: Jared’s twelve when his life changes. When his brought out of this magical world filled with childhood memories and imaginary daydreams. His twelve when he realizes the world isn’t as happy as his parents made it seem, when he understands that those plans they laid out for him might not come true.Jared’s twelve when he's raped.





	1. Drowning

Nothing is easy.

You would think your parents would fill you in on this little jiff when you’re old enough to understand right? That they would tell you life bites sometimes, that your heart is going to get broken more than once, that some people only want to hurt you.

But they don’t. Instead they fill you up with happy little visions about how your future is going to be bright, how you’re going to meet the man of your dreams and live an amazing life.

And sure that might happen eventually so maybe they weren’t lying, but what they didn’t tell you is that the journey to get to that future is going to suck big time.

*****  
Jared’s twelve when his life changes. When his brought out of this magical world filled with childhood memories and imaginary daydreams.

His twelve when he realizes the world isn’t as happy as his parents made it seem, when he understands that those plans they laid out for him might not come true.

Jared’s twelve when he's raped.

He was supposed to be nice. Jared’s known him almost his whole life, no memories without him being there. 

And then one day everything changes. Suddenly his looking at him different, his touches linger or stray to places he knew they shouldn’t be…but he keep’s quiet and doesn’t say anything. 

He knows he should probably tell someone, but he doesn’t because his scared. Scared they won’t believe him, he is the adult after all and maybe Jared’s just imagining it.

But then just as he convinced himself of that thought he throws it away and he makes it real. He makes it real when his rough hands push down into his pants and touch him in places he doesn’t even understand. 

He makes it real when he leaves him there bleeding with no more than a kiss on his wet cheeks and suddenly he realizes that life will never be the same.

 

The alarm blaring next to him should have been the signal that it was time to get the heck up…if he hadn’t already been awake since 5 in the morning staring at the ceiling.

Slowly he turned his head to stare at the offending noise before reaching a hand over to shut it off. 

First day of school.

First day of junior year, it hadn’t even started yet and already Jared was stressing about it. What he really wanted to do was lie in bed, cuddled under the warm sheets and never leave. But he knew if he stayed any longer his mom would soon run him out of it anyway.

He threw the covers back before rising up from the bed and padding his way to the bathroom where he fished his anti-depressants out of the cabinet.

After the incident Jared spiraled. He shut himself down and stopped talking. His parents just thought it was the teenage angst, got him on some depressants and called it a day, didn’t bother to question it further.

But his sister Jolie was the complete opposite. Suddenly Jared’s sister watched him more, studied him like a hawk, narrowed her blue eyes and stared at him so attentively Jared was sure she knew. 

But if she did, she never said a word.

Jared closed his eyes as he bent over the sink and took a deep breath. 

First day… first day of junior year and already he wished it was over.

The same events would play the same way they did every year.

He would walk in school, people would smile at him because while he may be emotionally unstable no one else knew that and despite all that he was actually kind of popular. He would listen to his friends blab on about their summer and the endless parties they went to, he would go to cheer practice and run through the motions and then he would come home where he had to pretend everything was ok.

The same way it’s been every day for 6 years.

An endless rollercoaster that was unmoving and motionless.

****  
“Did you hear?”

Jared gripped his bag tightly as he turned to look at his best friend Kenna who with her blonde hair and bright blue eyes could be a model.

“Hear what?”

“There’s a new teacher.” Maggie pipped up as she appeared to Jared’s left and followed in step with them.

“And the big deal here is?”

“The big deal is he’s beautiful and I mean leather jacket beautiful,” Maggie said as she shook her head, her black hair bouncing as she did. 

“So what we have a new teacher and maybe he’s cute I’m still not seeing the big deal here.”

“Of course you wouldn’t.” Kenna said flatly next to him. 

“Wait is he taking over Parkers class?”

“That’s right.”

“Great I have enough to worry about I’ve got Owen’s for calculus my life will be in shambles enough and now there’s a new teacher I’ve got to worry about.”

Maggie made a face next to him “you’re taking calc? What the hell for?”

“Because I knew Baker would go easy on me plus it’s that or stats I didn’t really have much choice and now for lit there’s a new teacher taking over Parkers class, the class I was hoping would be the easiest but it seems like someone upstairs loves to punish me so alas my junior year will be hell… just like last year.”

Kenna threw her arm around Jared’s shoulders and smiled “but look at it this way…votes for captain are after school and we all know you’re getting it.”

“Don’t jinx me we know nothing…besides it’s probably going to be Valerie—“

Maggie snorted “yeah like that fake tanned bitch has anyone voting for her, the only thing she’s got going for her is Cory and even that’s not saying much. Put their IQ’s together and you have a total of 60.”

“You know you could be a little nicer.”

Maggie stopped and raised a brow “have you totally forgotten her making out with Matt behind the equipment room?”

Jared scowled “your right she’s a bitch.”

“Of course she is she stole Matt from you! God I can still see the look on his face when—“

“Can we not? I would prefer not to live in the past besides it’s over…she can have him.”

“Except she’s with Cory now.”

“Lucky him.”

As the bell rung Jared closed his eyes grateful for the disruption. 

“Holy hell.”

“I second that.”

Jared would have as well, if he could speak that is.

“That’s the new teacher?”

Hushed gossip settled over the classroom as everyone filed in, the girls all staring with wide starry eyes and the boys rolling their eyes at the obvious affections.

The teacher smiled as everyone sat down in their seats and stood up in front of everyone “my name is Jensen Ackles and I am your new Brit Lit teacher. Unfortunately Mr. Parker decided he would like to take his retirement early, I just graduated from grad school I got lucky and landed this job. I know some of you might be a bit disappointed that you’re having to start the year with a new teacher and learn my styles but I promise I’ll go easy on you.”

The guy, Mr. Ackles, stood and gave the room a once over. He had cropped dirty blonde hair and when he squinted his eyes hard enough Jared spotted a light dusting of freckles that covered his nose. 

“I would like to go around the room and get to know everyone.”

The students around him groaned and he laughed, his hand coming up to push his glasses back and Jared sunk lower in his seat. “How about you?”

“I—“

“Stand up.”

Jared gulped and stood “my name is Jared…I’m on the varsity cheer team, I’m also president of the key club.”

Mr. Ackles smiled at Jared “what about your favorite movie?”

Jared blushed “The Labyrinth.”

“David Bowie fan?”

“Yes sir I am.”

Jensen’s grin grew and he nodded his head “thank you Jared.”

As Jensen moved on around the room Maggie turned and looked at him with wide eyes “I think someone’s in love with you .”


	2. Going through the Motions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I had to put up another chapter!

Jared walked in the house later that night, body aching and sweat pouring from his face.

He hadn’t expected the first day back would be so harsh but it seemed Coach Carter had other plans. 

He dropped his bags by the stairs before walking to the living room where his mother and father sat on the couch, his sisters Jolie and Sophia on the ground below them.

Once his mother spotted him she looked up with a wide smile “hey honey how was the first day?”

Jared shrugged before painfully dropping down next to Sophia who quickly offered him the abandoned water bottle next to her. 

Jared took it gratefully and tossed some back “it was fine, we got a new teacher.”

Jolie turned to him stopping his words “Don’t tell me you got Jensen Ackles as your teacher? His the talk of the school I heard he’s only 27 and he just moved here from Florida, he’s got this whole sexy nerd thing going on.”

Jolie was a senior and captain of the girls’ basketball team, already heading on a full ride to UCLA when the school year was over. Jolie was a 5’11 golden goddess and totally worshipped by Geneva High, all grade levels included.

Next to her Sophia rolled her eyes “I’m sure his not that good looking he is a teacher isn’t he? And why would he move to Lake Geneva when he could be surf side in Florida?”

Sophia was a sophomore in college and was still on her summer break. Sophia got a cheerleading scholarship to Anna Arbor State where she was majoring in communications. Sophia was a man-eater, in simpler terms guys didn’t stand a chance with her and they were usually dropped after a week. Sophia was 5’9 and totally beautiful and Jared was easily able to understand why all the guys wanted her with her bright olive green eyes and light chocolate hair.

“He’s ok…” Jared mumbled, completely in denial before taking another swig of water. “I got captain today.”

Sophia’s eyes lit up as she let out a squeal and pulled Jared in for a hug “oh little brother you’re following in my footsteps I knew you would get the gig! I’m glad you kicked that bitch’s ass. “

“Sophia!” their mom scolded above them only making Sophia smile wider.

Jared smiled weakly in return before standing up and stretching “it’s been a long day I think I’m gonna take a shower and go to bed.”

“What about dinner? There’s some left over pizza.”

“It’s fine the girls and I grabbed a burger after practice.”

He trudged up the stairs as his family bid him goodnight, his body numb as he stepped inside the bathroom.

Jared knew he should feel happy that he got captain over Valerie and that his sister was proud of him but truthfully… he didn’t feel anything.

He hadn’t felt anything in a long time.  
****

“Hello Jared.”

Jared’s head snapped up at the deep whiskey smooth voice and swallowed “oh hi Mr. Ackles I didn’t expect to see you down here.”

Jensen smiled down at him as he finished tying his shoes before standing up, his jaded eyes scanning over Jared and suddenly he felt small in his practice outfit.

“Well Coach Nolan is moving so he asked me to take over coaching the football team…probably baseball as well.”

Great just what he needed.

“Oh cool…I’m sure you’ll do a good job, the boys are pretty good listeners plus you’ve still got a couple months to train them.”

Jensen smiled at him, the skin by his eyes crinkling as he did making Jared’s heart flutter at the sight. Jared turned and looked in the gym where his team was gathering “well I’ve got to go, got a team to lead so I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Right… don’t forget about that quiz.”

Jared nodded his head and started walking back and smiled weakly as Mr. Ackles waved at him before turning and sprinting in the gymnasium.  
****  
Jared was dead tired as he walked to the student lot with his friends. His legs felt like Jell-O and his arms were heavy as he tried to keep his cheer bag in his arms.

“I think Coach is trying to kill us… I swear to God I think I’m actually going to die.”

Jared huffed in agreement as they finally made it to their cars “today was worse than summer workouts and that’s saying something… I think she’s just anxious for regionals.”

“So am I but I don’t try to kill innocent people” Kenna exclaimed making a few football players stare at her as they came out of practice and Jared snorted in response.

“On another note I saw a little Mr. Someone talking to Mr. Hottie today in the hallway.”

Jared rolled his eyes at Maggie’s smirking face “shut up he came up to me.”

“That’s what I’m saying! I think a certain teacher might have a little crush on the hot cheer captain…”

“I think you’re full of it,” Jared wheezed as he threw his bag in her jeep. “He’s just being nice—“

“Nice? Come on Jare he’s doing more than that when were in class he’s eyes like burn holes into you and he always makes an excuse to talk to you.”

Jared turned to Kenna with a betrayed scowl, surely thinking she would be on his side “Drop it ok? It’s nothing. Besides he’s a teacher.”

Kenna opened her mouth to respond when the football players rolled off the field from practice, Mr. Ackles right behind them. 

When his eyes landed on Jared he grinned and lifted his hand up and waved a twinkle in his eyes.

Jared closed his eyes and groaned as the girls turned to him with smug faces, their case made .


	3. Pushing Forward

Being locked inside your own head is brutal. You’re alone, with only yourself as comfort which isn’t exactly comforting because that’s when you have the time to judge yourself.

You tell yourself what happened is your fault, you didn’t try and stop him you let him hurt you; let him take from you without so much as a scream. And it’s not that you didn’t want to scream, not that you didn’t want to fight back because you did but you were numb.

You locked yourself up so you wouldn’t feel, drifted away so you wouldn’t have to look up at the face of a man who you’ve known your whole life and see the forbidden pleasure overtaking his face. See that your pain is what he enjoyed most, knowing you wouldn’t say anything.

Maybe that’s the hardest part. 

This man who you’ve known almost your entire existence, this man who is supposed to be your fathers best friend, this man who treated you like one of his own and let you have sleep overs with his children…this man is the one that raped you.

You want to tell your family right after it happens but you don’t, you don’t because they probably wouldn’t believe you anyway.   
Technically they’ve known this man longer than you, he is the adult and it’s his word over yours, your young and you have an active imagination.

Or you used to.

****  
“Is something bothering you Jared?”

Jared looked up from where he was picking at his salad “Oh no Mr. Ackles I’m fine thank you.”

Despite Jared’s polite dismissal he sat down next to him “you know when I was little my dad pretty much ran a crack house man I saw it all. This is why I know when something is bothering someone and I’m a pretty good listener just ask Dan.”

“Who’s Dan?”

“A crack addict.”

Jared chuckled to himself and picked at his shoe laces “I don’t wanna talk about it…I don’t think I’ll ever want to talk about it.”

“It’s not good to keep things bottled up, you gotta let it out or you’ll explode.”

“Are you a teacher or a counselor?”

“Both…but I can see something is really eating at you. I know you don’t know me and I am your teacher but you can share things with me.”

Jared bit at his lip and turned his head “What if—what if it’s really bad and no one will believe you?”

Jensen leaned forward, trying to find Jared’s eyes “sometimes you got to take that risk.”

“Was your dad really a crack addict?”

“No…he was a football coach, my mom’s a music teacher.”

Jared smiled and looked down at his lap before clearing his throat and standing “thanks Mr. Ackles but I should probably go find my friends now…thanks for the advice I’ll think about it.”

But he wasn’t sure if he wanted to take that risk. His held onto this secret for years, kept it wrapped up inside him why would he let it out now?

When Jared got home his mother was in the kitchen unloading groceries. She smiled when she saw Jared “hi honey how was school?”

Jared shrugged as he hopped on the counter. He knew she asked these things because she was genuinely curious. His mom wasn’t like other moms, when she asked you a question she didn’t turn her head and busy herself she paid full attention “it was fine... we had a test in calc.”

“How did you do?”

“I think I did ok.”

“Well good,” she smiled as she bent over to pull a pan out “were having spaghetti for dinner.”

“Hey mom?”

“Yes?”

“Have you—have you ever had something, or well someone be interested in you when they shouldn’t?”

She frowned and looked up “is there someone bothering you?”

“No mom there’s just this guy and he—“

“He’s older?”

Jared made a face “you could say that.”

“Well sweetie your 17 now and you’re growing up I don’t see a problem in you dating a college student after all Sophia never minded.”

Jared sighed and turned his head and gave it a little shake and hopped off the counter “thanks mom.”

He started up the stairs, defeated—“Honey?”

He paused and turned slowly “yes?”

His mom stood before him, a concerned look in her eyes and gave him a look “is there something else bothering you? Something you want to tell me?”

Jared gulped, a chill settling in him and making him shiver. This was it he could open his mouth right now and tell her everything, tell her about the man she trusted, tell her what he used to do to him, how he hurt him. And as his mother looked at him with true worry in her eyes Jared let out a shaky breath and he shook his head and gave her a feeble smile “no… that’s it .”


	4. Game Day

Game day.

Game day meant wearing the black, red and white uniform he was given, the pants rubbing red marks on his legs when he walked.

Game day meant no going home after school. Game day meant bringing your dinner with you and eating quickly before going out to stretch and then making your way to the track where you stood in the hot sun till the moon took over for 3 long hours...   
sometimes longer.

Game day meant Jensen Ackles.

Jared gulped as he stood on the track front in line and in the middle giving him a perfect view of Mr. Ackles on the field in khaki pants, a black polo showing off his muscular arms and a head set covering his gelled hair.

Jared rolled his eyes and turned his head. Why did he have to be so perfect?

Kenna snorted next to him, her bony elbow reaching out and knocking his, making his pom poms brush against his bare skin and he made a face. “Don’t even start.”

She grinned at him, her blonde brows wiggling before cocking her head toward Mr. Ackles and Jared huffed and turned his head forward alerting Maggie and making her laugh as well.

“He’s looking at you.”

Jared whipped his head to the back and sure enough Mr. Ackles was standing on the sidelines next to number 28, Tom Welling, with his clip board in his hands and a strange look in his eyes.

Jared blushed and looked down at himself in his polyester, letter print top and solid pants. The top was tight almost showing off his belly button and he gasped as he realized the look in Jensen’s eyes wasn’t strange at all, it was lust.

“Padalecki!”

Jared turned his head toward his Coach who was standing below the bleachers with a stern look on her face “call a cheer!”

Jared snapped out of his haze and nodded quickly “Once Again ready!”

“Panthers offense once again. Scream and shout, stomp and grin! Ten more yards and then some more! Run Panthers, touchdown and score!”

Jared shot his arms up and grinned bright as he ended the chant before jumping up and clapping his hands to his sides.

He let out a breath and turned to face the field once again, his hands behind his back as he watched the game before him.

He let out a yell as one of his best friends; Chad ran down the field the ball in his hands, rushing toward the goal. “Go… go Chad go!”

A large man was chasing behind Chad, his hands reaching forward to grab him and Chad looked back and smirked before charging forward and throwing himself across the line causing uproar across the field.

Jared screamed and jumped in the air, his fists pumping in the air as Chad stood and turned to him and waved his hand before wiggling his brows behind his helmet. Jared rolled his eyes and grinned “that’s how you do it Chad!”

“Jay its halftime.”

Jared nodded and followed in formation for their halftime dance, his head bowed as the stadium lights dimmed.

The remix sounded through the night and Jared popped up with a smile, his hands moving as he walked to the front, his hips shaking as he fell forward, his hands plopping on the sidewalk as eh looked through his long legs to Kenna behind him.

They shared a grin as he popped back up and threw the crowd a sassy look and whirled around in his spot and did a forward roll to the back his eyes locking with Jensen’s.

Jared gulped as he twisted his head around, his hair whipping across his face. The music was coming to an end and Jared’s body was aching as he pushed himself back to the front and ended on the ground with his hands in the air.

As they rushed off the field and up to the concession stand to grab a snack his friends giggled behind him “you know I can hear you whispering so why don’t you just say it?”

“Ok fine,” Kenna stepped forward and gave him a look “listen I don’t know if you’re blind or just dumb but its plain as day that this new teacher has the hots for you. I see it, Maggie sees it and I know you do to.”

“He’s just—“

“He’s not being nice Jay, yeah sure he seems like a friendly guy but there’s more to it than that and you know it.”

Jared shook his head and gulped some water back “halftimes almost over we should head back.”

When the game was over Jared waved to his family in the stands and told them he was grabbing dinner with some of the girls and some guys from the team and he would see them in the morning.

“Jaybird!”

Jared grinned and turned as Chad jogged over to him from the field, his hair sweaty and his face red “did you see me?”

Jared rolled his eyes “oh yeah I saw you Mr. Quarterback out there doing your thing.”

Chad laughed and winked “well you know how I do…did Maggie see me?”

“Oh Chad you need to let it go.”

“Never! She will see my charms sooner or later.”

“Jared.”

Jared turned as Mr. Ackles started upon them and his body flushed a deep red making Chad look at him in confusion.

“Murray good game.”

“Thanks Coach.”

The silence held thick between them before Chad cleared his throat “well Jaybird you uh coming to the party tomorrow night?”

“Um I’m not sure yet, maybe.”

“Ok well I’ll see you then or if not I’ll call you.”

Jared nodded and watched as Chad walked to the locker rooms and left him alone with Jensen.

“I saw you cheering.”

“Oh yeah…”

“Your captain?”

“I am.”

“That’s quite an accomplishment.”

“Thank you sir—“

“Were not in school right now your free to call me Jensen.”

Jared gasped and looked down “I see you’re not wearing glasses…”

“Oh yeah I can’t wear them on the field, the boys get rough you know?”

Jared smiled and nodded his head “oh yeah I’m sure.”

“Jared!”

Jared turned and looked as his friends waved at him from the stands and Kenna and Maggie shared a look “you coming?”

He nodded and turned back to Jensen “well I guess I’ll see you on Monday?”

“Sure…have a good night Jared.”

Jared smiled and turned to job to his friends but before he got in his car he turned back to where Jensen was still standing on the field watching him from down field and he took in a breath and looked down before looking back up and smiling .


	5. Pushing

“You have to go!”

Jared looked up from where he was lounging on his bed and frowned at his friends “but I don’t want to.”

“I didn’t ask if you wanted to I said you’re going!” Kenna reached down and pulled Jared off his bed to stand in front of his mirror before diving in his closet.

She pursed her lips and pulled out his leather pants (emergency only) and a tight red sweater and threw the ensemble down on the bed and wiggled her brows “put this on.”

Jared’s eyes widened as he looked down at the outfit and then back up at Kenna “have you lost your mind? This is a house party not a strip club!”

Maggie snorted behind him and threw the clothes at him “put it on!”

Jared grumbled as he jerked his tshirt and shorts off and threw on the tight leather pants and red sweater before throwing his arms out in aggravation “well?”

“You look totally hot!”

Jared looked down at himself and then in the mirror. He cocked his head at his reflection and shimmed his hips before laughing at himself “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”

The girls squealed behind him and Maggie jumped up and ran her fingers through his hair messing it up and then pinched his cheeks lightly creating a natural flush. She wiggled her brows and whistled “man if you weren’t gay…”

He laughed and rolled his eyes “well I am so back off girl,” he looked at himself again and shook his head “let’s just go before I change my mind.”

Jared walked in the party Maggie and Kenna on either side of him and he took a deep breath “you know I’m not too sure about this.”

Kenna sighed and took his arm “you got this; you’ve been to parties before.”

“Yes but I look—“

“Hot as hell now own it,” Maggie smacked his ass and sent him further in the room straight into Chad who turned around ready to yell at someone before his eyes widened “Jaybird…what the hell are you wearing?”

Jared blushed and crossed his arms “the girls picked it out.”

Chad laughed and shook his head before throwing his arm around Jared’s shoulder “well Jaybird I got to say you’re attracting a lot of attention.”

Jared looked around the room to see half the football player’s eyes on him and he blushed and groaned “including Tom Welling’s…the last person who I want to attract.”

Chad chuckled and handed him a beer “he is captain of the team you know?”

“And a major pain in my as—“

“Hey Jared.”

Jared whirled around and grinned sheepishly “hey Tom how’s it going?”

Tom smirked and placed one hand on the wall behind Jared making him shrink closer to Chad “would be better if you would dance with me.”

Jared’s brows shot up and he snorted quietly “well I’m sorry but your days just gonna have to get worse cause I ain't dancing with you.”

Tom shook his head and his smirk grew “you sure are a fiery one huh? I saw you out on the track yesterday I gotta say Jare you look fine as hell in that uniform.”

Jared made a face as Chad laughed behind him before turning to go find Maggie leaving him alone “listen Tom as I’ve told the last hundred times you’ve hit on me I’m not interested—“

“You’re never interested Jared, you should be lucky I’m even giving you the time of day.”

Jared scoffed and backed up “I should be lucky? No one would be lucky if they had your sights set on them Tom Welling. You’re a complete asshole and anyone who thinks otherwise is stupid as hell. Why would I ever be interested in a stuck up, pressed pants wearing, sissy motherfucker like you?”

Tom’s face grew red, his fists clenched by his side and as he opened his mouth to shout back Chad stepped in front of Jared and Maggie and Kenna by his sides “I would back the fuck up if I were you Welling wouldn’t want a shiner when you show up to school on Monday would ya?”

Tom growled and peered at Jared over Chad’s shoulder “were not through Jared.”

“That’s where you’re wrong Tom, we are.”

“Have you lost your damn mind?”

Jared rolled his eyes as he walked along the brick sidewalks in the cool night air “no I haven’t in fact I took it back.”

Kenna sighed “you could have caused a fight in there—“

“I’m confused Kenna whose side are you on? I’m a man, I’m a damn man and I might be gay but that doesn’t mean he can talk to me like that or treat me like some trophy wife! Tom Welling is a stuck up jackass who needs to be shoved down a level or to.”

“I agree with him,” Maggie said as they stopped in front of her house “Tom is a jerk and Jared had every right to dismantle the prick I just wish you would have punched him! He’s been after you for years now you think he would get a clue.”

Jared bit his lip and turned his head “I think I’ve had enough excitement for one night I’ll talk to y’all tomorrow.”

The girls nodded and went inside Maggie’s house as Jared turned on the street to head over to his house which was a couple blocks away.

He froze however when he heard a rustling in the bushes “hello?” 

He frowned and scanned over the dark walk behind him when flashing light blinded his eyes causing him to turn his head.

“Jared?”

He shielded his eyes and turned to the voice and let out a surprised gasp “Mr. Ackles.”

Jensen was leaning outside his truck window with a concerned frown “Jared are you ok? What are you doing out in the middle of the night?”

Jared looked behind him at the bush again and frowned before turning back “I was at a party I’m just on my way home… I thought I heard something.”

Jensen peered behind him as well and watched the bushes for a few seconds before smiling at Jared “why don’t I give you a ride home.”

Usually he would say no. This was his teacher and he didn’t want to give the wrong impression, what if other students walked by and saw? But it was 2 in the morning he was hearing strange noises and his house was still a couple blocks away.

“Sure thank you.” He ran around the other side and climbed in the truck “my house is 2 streets down.”

Jensen smiled at him and turned to the road and quietly flicked the radio up.

“Is this Chris Stapleton?”

 

Jensen grinned at him “it is… you know him?”

“Of course I do he’s the perfect slow dance music.”

Jensen laughed and nodded his head as they turned down Jared’s street “I guess he is… which one is it?”

Jared pointed at the two story brick home, flowers littered along the walk “nice house.”

“Thanks but it's mostly my parents my mom she’s a baker…she owns the pastry shop Serenity down on Main and my dad is a lawyer so."

“Oh yeah that place is wonderful.”

Jared nodded with a smile and looked up the walk and sighed “well thank you for giving me a ride Mr. Ackles—“

Jensen turned then with bright green eyes focused tightly on Jared’s and whispered “I told you, you can call me Jensen when were not at school.”

Jared’s mouth bobbed open for a few more seconds in bewilderment as Jensen seemed to move closer, his hand coming to rest on Jared’s cheek making Jared freeze at the feeling.

Jensen moved in closer, his nose bumping with Jared’s and Jared watched through lidded eyes as Jensen moved down to his lips, skimming his nose along Jared’s soft bottom lip.

Just as Jensen was moving his own lips to Jared’s he freaked. Jared jerked back with wide eyes and let out a shaky breath, tears blurring his eyes “I can’t I’m sorry I wish I could I—I want to but I’m to messed up and you don’t need that.”

Jared let out a sob and opened the car door before running inside and locking himself in his room leaving Jensen in his truck hurt and confused .


	6. Over the Limit

Jared didn’t tell his friends what happened Saturday night, and he ignored them on Sunday so he wouldn’t have to deal with them.

His teacher, Mr. Ackles almost kissed him.

He almost kissed him and he wanted it more than anything but he couldn’t. He couldn’t get involved with a teacher but it was more than that he couldn’t let Jensen fall for him when there was nothing to fall for.

Jared was a mess, a vacant black hole and he wouldn’t let Jensen fall in it.

That Monday Jensen eyed him as he walked in class but he kept his head down and tried not to look him in the eyes as he took his seat next to Kenna who looked at him and Jensen with a curious glance to which he ignored which only made her huff.

"Jay? What's wrong?"

He shook his head and gave her a faltering smile and she looked him up and down "did something happen the other night? I didn't hear from you yesterday?"

He looked down and fingered the pencil on his desk "I was just busy... had a lot of homework I had to get done plus you know Sunday is cleaning day."

Kenna smiled and rolled her eyes "your're moms such a clean freak she's worse than mine."

Jared nodded and tried to smile back and thanked God as Jensen started up class and dove right into to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet which only made his heart ache that much worse.

He wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say or do in this situation. No adult had ever showed interest in him let alone been this kind to him.

English droned on longer than it should have and Jared was starting to feel antsy as he sat in his seat, the rain bouncing off the tin roof of the school making it echo through the room.

When the bell finally rang Jared threw his stuff in his bag and practically shoved people out of the way.

“Mr. Padalecki?”

Jared closed his eyes and turned to face the front of the room as he tried to slip out the door unnoticed.

“Yes sir?”

Jensen frowned as the rest of the students filed out of the room and sat down on his desk “did I do something wrong the other night? I didn’t mean to seem forward I just thought we were headed in the same direction.”

“We were or I mean we weren’t…it’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” Jensen looked at him with confused green eyes and Jared wanted to crawl in a hole and die.

Jared closed his eyes and sighed before biting at his lip “I want you to know but I don’t want to tell you because you won’t look at me the same.”

Jensen frowned “Jared you can tell me anything no matter what we are to each other.”

Jared groaned in frustration and tugged at his hair “you don’t get it okay! It’s not easy for me to explain I’m not trying to be hostile it’s just I’m so fucking tired of everyone saying I can tell them the truth or pretending they don’t see it! I have no motivation to get up every morning and I don’t know why this is happening to me and I don’t know what you expect.” 

With that Jared turned and busted through the door and rushed down the halls and locked himself in the bathroom till lunch.

 

Jared lay on his bed, his head hanging off and hovering above his floor as he stared at the window across from him, watching as the rain pelted off the clear glass.

He had tried so hard to get over his past, to get better, to get over what happened to him, to just forget it all. He wanted to move on and just when he thinks there might be a chance his getting better something snaps right back inside of him and reminds him of that horrible night, reminds him of things he can’t have.

Sometimes he considers himself to be a paradox. His not happy and his not sad if anything he lives in a blank state. He smiles when he knows his supposed to, and laughs when his friends say something funny. But when night hits that’s when he ravels in on himself and all his emotions hit home. Night is when he wishes he could disappear.

“Honey?”

He looked up as his mom came into the room and he sent her a pathetic smile before looking back out the window to where everything was peaceful.

His mom frowned and walked to stand next to his head and she bent down “are you ok? If you’re not you can tell me.”

Jared snorted and closed his eyes, willing his emotions down “you don’t tell people you’re not okay, because then you have to watch them crumble because they don’t know what to do. Then you end up comforting them, even though it’s you who needs comforting…so yes mom I’m ok.”

His mom looked stunned as she reeled back looking down to where her son was leaning off his bed, his face red and his eyes blank of all emotion.

“Jar—“

“Mom…I know you’re doing your job. You’re asking all the right questions, you’re concerned and therefore your being a good parent but right now I want you to go because I’m not in the mood to talk right now.”

His mom cleared her throat and nodded her head with watery eyes before running her fingers through his hair and leaving the room with one last worried look.

Jared closed his eyes as a tear rolled down his cheek and plopped on the floor in a soft puddle. He let out a silent sob as he opened his eyes; his vision blurred as the tears overtook his eyes so he sat up in his bed and folded his legs under him.

“I’m not ok…” he whispered to himself which seemed to be lost over the growing storm “I’m not ok.”


	7. Promise Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know its short sorry!

**Dream**

“Sh Jared there’s no need to cry.”

Jared looked up with watery eyes and dampened cheeks, gasps leaving his small body as he tried to push himself back and away from the man’s grasp “do-don’t touch me… I’ll tell daddy.”

The man smirked and reached out to grip Jared’s short curly hair and jerked him closer before pressing his chapped lips against his cheek and licking the tears off his face “you won’t tell anyone little Jay because if you do not only will I hurt you but your precious sisters.”

Jared’s eyes widened and he shook his head “no don’t touch them!”

The man grinned and gave Jared a biting kiss “that’s a good boy.”

**end dream**

Jared shot up, sweat covering his face and sliding down his body as heavy breaths and sobs wracked his body.

He pulled at the shirt sticking to his body and jerkily pulled it off him and wiped at his face before looking up with a gasping breath.

The dreams would never stop.

“Jay?”

Jared looked up with a splotchy face as his sister Jolie stepped inside his room with messy hair and tired eyes “what’s wrong?”

He shook his head and cleared his throat “nothing I’m fine it was just a dream.”

She frowned and walked over to sit on his bed and looked him up and down “about what?”

Jared turned his head and sighed “don’t worry about it.”

“It’s hard not to worry about it Jared. I see you, I see you every day I’m not like mom and dad I know somethings wrong and whether you choose to tell me or not I will find out.”

Jolie stood and stroked his cheek before turning and leaving the room.

Jared closed his eyes and fell back against his pillow “why me?”

 

“Jared?”

Jared turned with wide eyes “Mr. Ackles what are you doing here?”

Jensen looked around with a sheepish smile “I didn’t know how else to talk to you.”

Jared looked back in his house and stepped outside “my parents aren’t home their taking my sister Sophia back to school but Jolie’s inside—“

“I won’t be long I just…Jared I know I’m your teacher and your young and I’m older than you are but I don’t think that’s the problem is it? So who did it to you? Who fucked you up so bad emotionally and mentally that you’ve completely shut down? You won’t talk about your feelings, you keep pushing me away, and you refuse to open up and let me in. who fucking did it to you?”  
Jared trembled as he stood before Jensen and stopped to really look at him. His hands were shaking “I wish I could tell you how much it hurts but then again I don’t. It would be to embarrassing, to cliché for me to open up and tell you everything that’s wrong in my life, tell you why I cry at night. There’s many things wrong with me Jensen things that’s too hard for me to explain, things I’m not ready to explain.”

Jensen stepped forward and carefully took Jared’s hand “you don’t have to I just want you to tell me that you want to me with me just as bad I want to be with you.”

Jared let out a wet sob and looked down and watched as the tears fell from his eyes “I just want to feel safe with someone. I don’t want to be tossed around and used anymore; I don’t want to sit on the sidelines and wait I want to be with someone who loves me. I don’t want you to fix me either I don’t want you to be with me thinking you can fix me because you can’t. I am broken and sometimes I get sad and all I want to do is lay in my bed and cry but that’s who I am…”

Jensen closed his eyes and opened them with wet eyes as he stepped forward and placed his hands on Jared’s cheeks, gave I’m one last smile and pulled him in.

Jared melted in his arms, Jensen kissed him as if everything he’d ever been silent about, all the feelings he kept inside had finally made its way to the surface. Jensen kissed him and he felt like he was drowning.

When Jensen pulled back he butted their foreheads together and stroked Jared’s face with rough hands but Jared leaned into it anyway “you’re not okay and that’s okay. You’re not obligated to be perfectly fine every minute of every day, feel what you feel but don’t let it control you. Let me be here, let me show you that I want you, that I want all of you.”

For the first time in 4 years a true smile lit on Jared’s face and he let out a wet laugh and shook his head before throwing his arms around Jensen’s neck and pulling him in tight, pressing his lips to Jensen’s neck. “Tell me it’ll be okay…that no matter how hard it gets you’re going to be here.”

Jensen leaned back and gave him a fond smile as he ran his fingers threw Jared’s hair “I’m going to be here .”


	8. Owning Up

Kenna eyed Jared as he bounced out of practice that hot afternoon after an intense practice mostly filled with a raging Coach Carter.

“How are you glowing right now? I’m so sweaty I look like I just had a shower.”

Jared smiled timidly as he leaned against his car and shrugged “it was just a good practice is all I mean regionals are next week.”

“Yeah it is…speaking of that can we please talk about Valerie and her two left feet? What did Coach see in her girl can’t even do a full.”

Jared rolled his eyes in amusement “who knows who cares all I know it she’s a senior and that is all that matters.”

Maggie laughed and climbed in her car “no doubt. Well I’ll see y’all tomorrow its family night,” she huffed in annoyance and stuck her tongue out before backing out and tearing out of the parking lot.

Kenna shook her head and headed for her car as well “same…well not same I just have a shit load of homework to do, hey why don’t you tell Mr. Hottie he shouldn’t give us so much homework? I’m sure he would listen to you since you’re his favorite and all.”

Jared blushed and looked down, favorite was certainly right since he had spent the whole day before wrapped up in Jensen’s arms listening to his soothing words and tender kisses.

“Drop it.”

She smirked at him and waved before rolling up her window and leaving him alone.

“Tough day?”

Jared smiled and turned around “it’s been fine thanks Mr. Ackles.”

Jensen grinned and leaned against Jared’s jeep “got some placed to be?”

Jared pursed his lips “just at home doing the homework you assigned me.”

Jensen laughed “can’t go easy on you can me? Tell Kenna welcome to the real world.”

Jared blushed “so you heard that?”

Jensen raised his brow and smirked “oh yeah…Mr. Hottie I quite like that.”

Jared groaned and covered his eyes “I’m sorry their just—“

“Your friends, its fine I get it trust me. Besides you are my favorite.”

Jared snorted and shoved him back before sliding in his car “thanks for the flattery Mr. Ackles but I really should be going, call me tonight?”

Jensen smiled and subtly stroked his thigh “of course.”

 

Jared sat at the table next to his sister Jolie and watched as his mom sat down the roast beef she had spent all afternoon slaving over.

She sat down next to his father and smiled “alright everyone dig in.”

Jared did as told and dipped in for the mashed potatoes and laid a good heap down on his plate before grabbing a slice of roast beef and some broccoli. His phone beeped next to him as he was busy stuffing his face and he paused to spare it a glance and grinned with his mouth full.

“Hey beautiful.”

Jared quickly dropped his fork and picked up his phone to reply “hey yourself.”

Jolie peeked over at him and looked down at his phone before shaking her head with a smile and his mom looked up and raised her brow.

“Jared honey…how was school today?”

Jared shrugged “it was fine…nothing to complain about.”

Her eyes narrowed as Jared picked up his phone again and smiled brightly “anything interesting happen?”

“Nope.”

“Nothing at all?”

His father looked up and gave his mom a curious look to which she made a face at “you seem to be in a better mood today.”

Finally Jared dropped his fork and looked away from his phone with an annoyed look “what’s your deal? What's with the 20 questions?”

His mom shook her head and looked down at her plate “I’m just confused is all the other day you acted like your life was ending and today you’re on cloud nine. This teenage angst ordeal had lasted longer than it should—“

Jared scoffed and twisted his lips and his sister reached up to grab his arm but he shook her off “I am so sick of you meddling in my life and making accusations about me. If you were really my mother you would know I’m not having a teenage crisis but instead you sit there and mock me you might be my mother but you know nothing about me!” Jared shook his head and wiped at his eyes angrily before turning around and stomping out of the house.

 

“Jared?”

Jared looked up with shy eyes and bit at his lip before looking down “I—I’m sorry I just I didn’t know where else to go. I had a fight with my mom and she was—she was God she just thinks she knows everything about me and she doesn’t and I can’t tell her I can’t but I want to and I want to scream at her but I can’t because she’s my mom and I’m sorry I shouldn’t be here but I looked dup your address and—“

Jensen reached out and gripped Jared’s shoulders “Jay, Jay its ok just breathe ok?” he looked around before pulling Jared inside and sitting him on his couch and bending down in front of him. 

He looked down and brushed Jared’s hair away from his face so he could look him in the eyes, in his teary eyes and gave him a firm look “listen I want to respect your privacy I know there are things you want to keep to yourself but I can’t stand it anymore. I know there’s something that’s killing you on the inside and I want you to tell me what it is.”

Jared let out a shaky breath and looked up trying to blink tears away from his eyes “I swear I was doing ok, I was doing so much better I made so much progress. I don’t know what happened something went wrong I think it was when I met you, I’m not saying it’s your fault because it’s not but it’s almost like meeting you made everything come rushing back. I think I’ve started to lose my mind, I’m missing pieces of myself and I can’t find them, I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.”

Jensen gripped his knees and closed his eyes before clearing the emotions from his throat “are you saying that you don’t want to live? Are you trying to tell me you want to die?”

Jared let out a huff of laughter “I’m not suicidal, but if a car came while I was crossing the street I don’t think I would move out of the way. If someone held a gun to my head, I wouldn’t exactly beg for my life in fact I might laugh at the irony. No I’m not suicidal but if I had the opportunity I think I would take it.”

Jared looked up and watched as Jensen’s eyes filled with tears, watched as he tried to blink them away. Jared wanted to reach out and comfort him but he couldn’t, he wasn’t finished yet “ my dad he had this friend, or well their still friends I guess but I’ve known him all my life I mean he was always there you know? And when I turned 12 everything changed, he was different he looked at me different, treated me different. I didn’t really think much about it till he started touching me,” Jared closed his eyes and let out a silent sob “he would touch in awful places and I didn’t understand—I didn’t know. Then he—he—“Jared stopped he couldn’t finish, he couldn’t go back.

Jensen sat next to him and pulled a crying Jared in his arms and tried not to scream in rage at the thought of someone hurting Jared, of someone touching him in places they shouldn’t so he held him tighter. He pressed his lips to Jared’s temple and gave him desperate kisses as Jared cried in his arms “why didn’t you tell anyone?”

Jared lifted his chin and pressed it down on Jensen’s bare arm and watched as his own tears slipped down the freckles skin “no one asked.”


	9. Laying in Comfort

“I wish I could kill the part of myself that hates me so much but it’s impossible because I feel like that’s all I’ve become.”

Jared looked down at Jensen from where he was resting on his hand tangled up in Jensen’s sheets watching as Jensen looked at him like no one else before as he explained his messed up past, his hand shaking as his head rested on it.

Jensen’s rough calloused hand reached up and stroked the bare skin of Jared’s back trailing down the line of his spine savoring the way Jared would shiver at his touch when he laid extra care to the dimples at the bottom of his back.

Jared liked the way Jensen hadn’t spoken, hadn’t uttered a work as Jared laid there next to him and told him the inner demons that hid within him.

“No one ever suspected? They didn’t notice?”

Jared shrugged and rolled over to lay on his folded arms and looked at Jensen through long lashes “sometimes I think my sister Jolie knows, she’ll look at me like she can see right through me, like she knows everything about me and all I wanna do is scream, to blurt out everything I’m feeling. My dad is clueless it’s his best friend he would never suspect anything and my mom well she thinks I’m going through a long phase that should be over by now.”

“And Sophia?”

“She’s too busy dealing with her own life. Sophia has always been a whirlwind she travel's through guys so fast it's almost like they were never there, she doesn't have time to notice anything but she's good. Her and Jolie their good sister's even if they don't notice.”

Jensen frowned as he lay on his side and watched Jared pick at the bed railing so he moved closer and pressed himself to his side “I would notice.”

Jared smiled and turned his head “you know when I was a little boy I thought love had to be delicate and fragile kind of like a flower but now that I’m older I’ve realized that love can be different. It can be like a firework, explosive and dangerous. It can be raw, passionate and wild maybe even reckless but you shouldn’t be scared to fall in love which I think is funny since I’m terrified. I’ve always wanted to fall in love but now that I think I’m falling into it I’m scared…I’m scared because I think you’re going to look at me a realize you don’t need someone so messed up in your life. That you’ll realize you deserve better.”

“You’re the only thing I’ve ever deserved. I know your messed up but that’s ok because we all are in our own way and I don’t care I don’t. Your hurt and that’s ok I want you to feel pain, I want you to feel everything.”

“I just want to break down like really break down but I can’t. All I can do is keep this lump in my throat and tears in my eyes which feels more like punishment than anything and when I’m done I just feel worse I’m too weak.”

Jensen pulled Jared in his arms and tucked him under his neck and tangled his fingers in his hair “you’re not weak, everything that you’ve been through there is nothing weak about you Jay.”

Jared smiled softly and wrapped his arms around Jensen’s waist and tilted his head up till their noses bumped making him let out a giggle and Jensen grin “I think I could love you.”

As soon as he said the words he wanted to take them back. He was waiting for Jensen to freak out, to tell him that he was his student and he was just looking for some fun, or maybe he was just too complicated. But instead Jensen’s eyes softened and his green eyes shone as he reached his hand out and let his finger trace the moles next to Jared’s nose “I think I might already love you.”

Jared blinked dumbly and opened to his mouth to say something, anything but found he couldn’t and Jensen smiled in understanding and placed his finger on Jared’s lips “its ok, I don’t expect you to say anything I don’t want you to say anything. I know there are things you need to figure out; I know you’re still trying to get ahold on yourself so I want you to wait, to hold it in till you think it’s the right time.”

Jared smiled and let out a wet laugh as tears filled his eyes “where did you come from? I mean most guys would run in the other direction if they found out how messed up I am.”

Jensen bumped their foreheads together and thumbed his cheek “I’m not going anywhere.” Jensen leaned in closer and pressed their lips together and watched as Jared’s eyes fell closed and he melted into the kiss.

Jared wrapped his arms around Jensen’s neck and molted his body to Jensen’s, wrapping his leg around his hip and letting his hand trail down the scruff of Jensen’s cheek, smiling into the kiss as Jensen pressed more tiny kisses to his lips after they parted.

“I don’t want to go home.”

“You don’t have to; you can stay here with me I’ll even take the couch if you want me to.”

Jared smiled and shook his head, his hand coming around to brush the hair on the back of Jensen’s neck “I would like if you stayed here with me but just to sleep.”

“Just to sleep.”

 

“Where are you?”

Jared peeked out the bathroom door his eyes finding the bed in the dark room to see Jensen still asleep and wrapped around the pillow Jared had been sleeping on till his sister called.

“I’m at a friend’s.”

His sister huffed on the other end and he knew right then Jolie knew it wasn’t just a friend “moms really upset, she freaked when you didn’t come home.”

“I know she tried to call…I just can’t keep dealing with that Jo I mean what was that? I hate when she drills me like that.”

He could hear his sister pacing no doubt biting her nails as she walked past her window over and over “Jay listen I know there’s something going on with you and you shut down when people snuff too far into your business but she’s our mom and she knows somethings up you need to tell us—“

“No! No I don’t need to tell her anything. She is just now noticing there’s something wrong with me when there’s been something wrong for 4 years. She put me on pills without even asking if I was ok and now she cares. She cares because she thought I was just being a stupid teenager but now that I’m older and not over now she thinks somethings wrong and you know what? I don’t give a shit because she and dad should have been there, they should have been there but they weren’t and neither were you or Sophia.”

“Hey wait a minute I knew there was something but you shut yourself down and practically throw on a chasity belt and won’t say anything.”

“I shouldn’t have to! You know what I have to go.”

“Jare—“

He slammed his phone shut and took a deep breath before turning his phone off and walking back to the bed and slowly climbing in. Jensen reached out with his eyes still closed and wrapped Jared up in a cocoon “you ok?” he mumbled with a deep gravelly voice as he rubbed up and down Jared's bare arm.

Jared closed his eyes and buried his face in Jensen’s neck “I’m fine, just go back to sleep .”


	10. Trapped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really happy with the positive feedback I'm getting! I'm so glad everyone is liking this! Keep leaving comments!

“Where were you last night? I called like a thousand times I was starting to feel neglected.”

Jared bit the inside of his cheeks and clutched his bag tighter as he walked down the hallway to his calc class “sorry I turned my phone off.”

Kenna frowned and eyed Jared warily “what’s up? Your acting like someone just killed your dog.”

Jared pursed his lips “nothing I just wasn’t feeling well yesterday and I fought with mom I didn’t feel like talking to anyone.”

Kenna opened her mouth to say something else when Chad walked up next to her, his eyes searching “where’s Maggie?”

Kenna snorted and shook her head like she was dealing with a small child “I think she’s at the police station getting a restraining order against you since you have nothing better to do than follow her around like some creepy psycho.”

Jared laughed with bright eyes and Chad rolled his in annoyance at Kenna, they had been feuding since freshman year when Chad had tried and failed to pick her up as well “oh please do I sense jealousy laced within that man voice of yours?”

Kenna reached out with a blank face and without looking and shoved Chad right into Valerie’s locker who was busy looking at her reflection in her tiny pink mirror to notice. Valerie let out a screech as Chad bumped into her knocking her head into the locker and Kenna and Jared let out loud cackles as she turned around to hit Chad with her purse and let out a string of cuss words.

“You know I think I’m feeling better.”

Kenna grinned and wrapped her arm around Jared’s shoulders “I thought you would.”

Later that afternoon as the cheer team was sitting in the gym stretching Maggie burst through the doors with a red face which darkened as Coach Carter narrowed her cobalt eyes at her “where the hell have you been Walsh? Your 15 minutes late!”

Maggie winced as she jogged over and took a seat next to Kenna and Jared “sorry Coach I wasn’t feeling well today.”

Coach shook her head “get to stretching.”

Maggie nodded and folded her legs out and shot Jared a helpless look “what’s up with her?”

Jared shrugged as he spread his legs and reached for his toes “not sure I think her and her husband are having some issues though I would be to if my husband looked like Brad Pitt and couldn’t keep his hands off the ladies.”

“How do you know?”

“Cause she came into practice with that tendon practically bursting from her neck and besides us only one other person has that effect on her.”

Maggie giggled “I’d rather wax my eyebrows off then be on the other end of that conversation.”

Kenna made a face “now there’s an image. You might look like Michelle Trachtenburg but girl you would not be pretty without eyebrows.”

Maggie narrowed her eyes and opened her mouth to retort—

“Formation people!”

The team jumped up and formed into their line up for the competition and Coach walked in front of them the sleeves of her pink tracksuit pushed up and her blonde hair pulled back in a neat pony.

When you looked at her Coach Carter was the picture perfect girly girl but underneath she was a badass Coach you didn’t want to mess with.

“We are going to run through this routine until there are no mess ups. Regionals are this weekend and there are certain members who still don’t have the whole thing down.”

Half the team turned to look at the back row where Valerie stood who blushed a bright red as eyes settled on her making Kenna snort and share a look of amusement with Jared.

“Hit it!”

 

When Jared pulled into his driveway later that night he halted in terror as his eyes fell on the black truck sitting in his spot next to his sister’s accord.

He shook his head and let out a wheezing inhale as he peered through the front window and spotted a tall man with dark brown hair head into the kitchen after his father and he felt like disappearing.

He thought about backing out and heading to Jensen’s, getting away from the hell that would bombard him as soon as he walked inside but it was to late when his mom saw him and waved him in.

He didn’t notice he was moving till he was walking up the driveway with wobbly legs and trembling hands that reached out hesitantly to push the door open and the world crashed around him.

“Honey how was practice?”

Jared didn’t answer, didn’t think he could as the man turned around his face still the same as it was 4 years ago. His brown eyes constricted making them look almost black in the light, his skin was as tan as ever and his shaggy hair swooped down, the wrinkles by his eyes amplified as his lips twisted in a haunting smile “well hey there Jare been a long time.”

Jared gulped and let out a small sob that no one noticed except the man before him who had heard that sound more than once and his smile widened as he stepped forward his rough hands felt like death as they came out to grip Jared’s arms and pull his body into his own.

Jared tried to pull back, tried to keep his body like stone but the man was stronger, he always had been and yanked him close his cracked lips pressing against Jared’s ear and huffing out a breath making Jared close his eyes as hot tears threatened to fall.

“I’ve missed you.”

A swell of panic formed in Jared’s throat and a small noise of terror left his lips, his hands reaching up desperate to push the man away and he stepped back with flushed cheeks and sweaty hands “I—“Jared turned to look at his mom and then to Jolie who was giving him a curious glance before turning to look at the man her gaze darkening.

“I don’t feel well I think—I’m going to go to bed.”

His mom frowned “honey Jake is here.”

Jared closed his eyes and chewed at his lip “I know but I have to—I can’t.” Jared turned and hurried upstairs and slammed his door, his back pressing against it as he slid down the wooden surface and he pressed his hands to his leaking eyes.

Finally loud, wrecked sobs left his body in a cruel and hurtful sound that only made him cry harder as he shook against the door the tears now covering his whole face as he slammed his head against the door and let out lurid wails that made his whole body feel on fire.

He lay down on the carpet floor and dug his nails into the soft floor and watched as the tears rolled off his nose and made a puddle on the floor. Broken he felt broken as he listened to his parents laugh downstairs with Jake completely clueless to his despair.

He curved up off the floor and let out a cracked, shattered scream that echoed back to him, spit flying from his mouth and landing on his wet cheeks as a cry followed after it making his lungs wail for air.

“Sh Jared there’s no need to cry be a good little boy for me it’ll only hurt a second.”

Jared shook his head and smacked at his skull at the cruel whisper that floated back through his mind from that horrible night 4 years ago. “Why,” he whispered with an exhausted voice “why did it have to be me?”

He rolled over on his back and stared at the ceiling with enflamed swollen eyes that were raw and stinging from crying, tear tracks tainted his red cheeks as he let out small, winded gasps of breath that were filled with agony.

He reached for his phone and pulled it towards him as he scrolled down for Jensen’s number and dialed.

“Hello? Jay?”

Jared closed his eyes as a lump formed in his throat “Jared?”

“J—Jensen…”

He could hear Jensen rustle on the other end “Jared? Baby what’s wrong?”

Jared’s bottom lip trembled as he tried to sit up and a couple more tears slid down his cheeks “he—he’s here…I don’t know what to do Jensen, I don’t know what to do.”

“Ok, ok,” he could hear Jensen moving and a door banging “I’m coming right now.”

“What if they see—“

“I don’t give a shit who sees I’m coming to get you.”

Not even 10 minutes later there was a loud knocking on the door downstairs and Jared stirred from where he was resting on the carpet and pressed his ear against his bedroom door and listened as his mom answered.

“May I help you?”

“Is Jared here?”

Jared let out a thankful cry and threw his door open before galloping down the stairs and freezing at the bottom.

His mom was standing at the door with a confused look on her face, his father was sitting at the table completely oblivious to everything around him and Jake was sitting next to him, his eyes narrowed in on Jensen.

Jolie took one look at Jensen and her eyes widened as she turned to face Jared eyeing him up and down and for a minute he was scared she would open her big mouth and ask him what the hell he was doing with his teacher but she didn’t. She stepped back and nodded her head.

Jensen came inside without an invite from his mother and looked up at him with eyes so filled with love it made Jared’s knees feel weak. He stopped inches in front of him and slowly held his arms out in waiting.

They were watching he knew they were he could feel their eyes on him as he came down the last step but he didn’t care about any of that he let out a sigh and rushed forward into Jensen’s arms and buried his face in his neck and let out a sniffle.

Jensen’s arms enclosed around him and he pressed his lips to Jared’s temple and held onto him as Jared cried on his shoulder, ignoring everyone around him.

But as he looked up and locked eyes with the man he knew was the cause of Jared’s inner turmoil he wanted nothing more than to kill that man.

The older man’s eyes were dark with rage as his eyes zeroed in on Jensen’s arms that held Jared close before they zoomed back up and glared at Jensen who only snarled in return.

He kept his eyes on the man as he lifted one hand to tangle in Jared’s hair “its ok now baby I won’t let anyone hurt you, not anymore .”


	11. Don't Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another chapter! I wont' be able to post again till the 16th since i'll be on vacation!

Jared’s mother didn’t ask any questions, didn’t have the time to as Jensen led him out of the house and to his car sitting out in the driveway, carefully tucking him in and buckling him up before shooting a glare at the house.

Jensen didn’t say anything when they got to his house and slowly stripped their clothes off and climbed in bed where Jared plastered himself to Jensen’s side and started to scream and cry so loud Jensen knew he would be hoarse the next day.

Desperate sobs wailed from Jared as he held onto Jensen’s arm his nails digging in the skin and making little crescent moons, the tears trailing down and dropping on the sheets. The sounds Jared was making only made Jensen want to kill the man more, to rip his head off and bury him so far in the ground no one would ever find him.

Worn-out cries were parting his body telling Jensen he had been crying for quite a while. He could hear the croupy cough that left Jared when tears filled up in his throat and he couldn’t get them out. Childlike snuffles shook him as he rocked in Jensen’s arms like he was trying to hold on for dear life, like if he let go he would be gone.

Jensen closed his eyes and held crushingly tight onto Jared and started humming a soft tune, his own voice breaking with tears that he tried to hold in.

Slowly Jared calmed and now lax little hiccups left his body as he relaxed in Jensen’s arms allowing him to pull back and see Jared had cried himself to sleep.

Jensen squeezed his eyes shut and let out a shaky pant as he submerged his face in Jared’s chaotic hair “never again.”

“Have you heard from them?”

Jared sighed as he laid in bed snuggled up next to Jensen his hands tracing the lines on Jensen’s palm “moms called but I can’t answer she’s going to ask too many questions and I just can’t deal with that.”

Jensen hummed and pressed his nose to Jared’s hair “and your sister? I saw her face she must know.”

“If she does she won’t say anything she’s always been good at keeping secrets.”

“I guess that’s where you get it from.”

Jared frowned and dropped Jensen’s hand and sat up “you didn’t have to say that.”

Jensen closed his eyes and sighed before moving to sit up behind Jared and rubbed his bare back in comfort “I’m sorry I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Jared tipped his head to the side as Jensen rubbed at his shoulders and he closed his eyes “I know you didn’t… you know before Jake, before what he did to me I never kept anything to myself. I was probably the most honest kid you would ever meet; I mean I told my parents everything. And then when he did that, when he took that from me I stopped telling the truth, I stopped sharing my life. It’s amazing how much destruction one person can cause.”

Jared sniffed and tucked his hair back “you know how when you’re in a car and it’s pouring down rain, you go under a bridge and everything stops. Everything goes silent and it’s almost peaceful. Then you finally get from under the bridge, and everything hits you a little harder than it did before. That’s my life. One minute I’m ok, I’m dealing and then the next everything crashes down around me. I don’t remember what it’s like to not be broken.”

Jensen’s eyes softened and he laid his head on Jared’s bony shoulder and reached his hand out to stroke Jared’s jutting hip bone “you’re going to be ok. Maybe not today and probably not tomorrow, but you’re not the type of person to stay down I haven’t known you long but I’ve learned that much. I know you think your weak but you’re not Jay your strong and I damn sure won’t let you fall.” 

Jared watched with tentative eyes as Jensen ran his hands over his broken past—lingering over the dents and worn out edges of his heart. And when he thought Jensen would run away he didn’t. 

Jared bit his lip as a grin overtook him and he turned his head slightly till their noses bumped and he closed his eyes “Jensen?”

“Hm?”

Jared opened his eyes and watched as Jensen’s eyelids fluttered, the freckles on his face seemed brighter, and his lips were curled in a tender smile.

“I love you.”

Emerald eyes snapped open and stared at Jared with shock laced within them and Jared blushed under the scrutiny. He wanted to backpedal and take back the sentiment, he knew Jensen had shared his feelings a couple days before but now that he had returned the feelings what if they had changed? No they didn’t they couldn’t not after what his said.

Suddenly Jensen grinned and he reached his hand out and thumbed Jared’s cutting cheek bone “I love you to Jay since the moment I saw you.”

Jared let out a wet laugh and moved his body to face Jensen’s and threw his arm around his neck and snuggled up in Jensen’s lap “promise?”

“Swear.”

“Jared?”

Jared sighed in defeat and turned out to look at his sister Jolie with Sophia by her side “Soph what are you doing here?”

She shared a look with Jolie before stepping forward and taking Jared’s hand “Jolie called me…she told you haven’t been yourself.”

Jared scoffed and shook his head. He knew he shouldn’t have come home. He had left Jensen’s as late as possible the next day and snuck home when his parents were at work but it seemed his sisters were waiting for him.

“Shouldn’t you both be at school?”

“Shouldn’t you?”

Jared pulled back and sat on his bed “what is it you really want?”

“Jay…was that Mr. Ackles?”

Jared turned his head “so what if it was?”

Jolie groaned and shook her head and Sophia shot her a look which was ignored “Jared he’s your teacher have you lost your mind?”

Jared snapped his head around with narrowed eyes ”no I found it! You think I care about anything you have to say? For once in my life I feel somewhat happy and I’m not going to let you ruin it. This is my life not yours.”

“Little Jay I know you’re in pain—“

Jared shook her off and jumped up off the bed and shoved away from his sisters “you don’t know pain; you don’t know anything about pain till you’re staring at yourself in the mirror wondering who the hell is looking back at you.”

Sophia made a hurt face and reached for him, her eyes shining when he stepped back “your just having a bad day—“

Jared laughed loudly, the sound almost hysterical “there are so many things going on inside my head. So many things you can’t and will never understand so don’t tell me I’m having a bad day because it’s been going on much longer than that. The tears, the desperate cries for help that no one but Jensen seems to hear. Sometimes I slip up and can’t cover it up and you still don’t notice! I am so broken that I can feel it I mean physically feel it and you still can’t see me,” Jared sobbed, unruly tears streaming down his cheeks “why can’t you see me?”

Sophia ducked her head and wiped her eyes as a sob left her throat and Jolie moved forward, her ever strong exterior breaking “what happened? Jared no more, no more secrets you tell me right now what the hell happened to you!”

Jared folded in on himself and cried, the tears shaking his body as he wished he didn’t say anything to begin with.

“Now Jared!”

He tipped his head back and sniffed “I think you know what happened.”

Jolie stared at him a beat longer before she cracked and her façade vanished “no…no he didn’t.”

Sophia frowned in confusion and looked back and forth between her siblings “what? Who did what?”

Jolie stuttered forward and bent down in front of Jared “Jake… it was Jake?”

Jared nodded as Jolie cried in front of him “when?”

“You remember when I was 12? And Sophia had this dance competition and I wanted to stay home so they let Jake come over? Remember how the next day I locked myself in my room and didn’t come out for a week?”

“Oh my God,” Sophia’s eyes ran rapidly as she put the pieces together. She turned her body and looked in Jared’s eyes trying to find the truth and when it stared back at her anger filled her body and she shot up “that son of a bitch I’ll kill him Jay I swear to God!”

“No wait mom and dad they don’t know—“

“Well their going to. That bastard deserves to rot in jail Jared!”

“Please,” Jared begged looking like a little boy “don’t tell them…I’m not ready.”

“What about Jensen? How does he fit in?”

Jared looked down and smiled weakly “I love him… he saw me when no one else did.”

Sophia and Jolie collapsed at his feet and the siblings huddled together, their arms stretching out to wrap Jared up in their arms trying and failing to control their tears.


	12. Pushing Over

When Jared’s parents got home he waited in his room for his mother to come confront him, to ask him where the hell he had been, or what the hell had happened at dinner.

But she never came.

Jared slowly got off his bed and crept over to his door and slid it open tipping his head out to listen in the hallway.

“I just don’t understand what’s going on with him.”

“Honey you just need to—“

“I mean that wasn’t like Jared whoever that boy was yesterday. Jared never yells at us, he never freaks out I mean he’s always been the voice of reason you know?”

Jared frowned as he listened to his parents discuss him before backing into his room and closing it softly. He debated on calling Jensen and asking him if he could come back over even though he was sure he would be welcome he knew he had to stay home and face his problems.

Another hour and tapping sounded on his door. He shot up in bed and prepared himself for the conversation to come but when the door opened it wasn’t his mother but his father.

His dad gave him a tight smile, a milkshake in his hand as he walked over and sat at the edge of Jared’s bed and looked down before clearing his throat and handing Jared the shake.

After a couple sips his dad sighed and scratched his head before folding his hands “your mother thought you might want something sweet.”

Jared hummed and sucked at his shake, trying his best to avoid eye contact. He and his dad never had heart to hearts, there was something just silently spoken between them.

“Your mothers worried about you. She thinks somethings going on with you and even your sisters are acting strange. Want to tell me what the deal is?”

Jared shrugged and turned his head “nothing’s going on I wish she would mind her own business.”

His dad frowned and leaned forward “see that’s what I’m talking about, you never talk like this.”

Jared closed his eyes and sighed “dad I’m really not in the mood right now.”

His dad stared at him a moment longer before nodding his head and standing up “well Jake is coming over for dinner with Lilly and the kids so I expect you to be dressed and ready by 6.”

Jared’s eyes widened and he sat up on his bed, tears gathering in his eyes “you didn’t tell me they were coming.”

“That’s because you were too busy hiding out yesterday.”

“Dad I already have plans I was going to—“

“Cancel them.”

“But dad—“

His dad turned with hard eyes making Jared trail off and turn his head with watery eyes but said nothing.

When the doorbell rang a couple hours later Jared flinched from where he was huddled against the wall.

“Jared come downstairs!”

Jared closed his eyes and let out a soft cry and pulled out his phone sending a text to Jensen letting him know what was going on and then ever so slowly he made his way downstairs where Jake and Lilly had their backs turned to him.

His mother smiled at him from across the room but he could tell it was forced, like she was disappointed in him. It stung to see his mother looking at him like that; he had never really disobeyed her that had always been his sister’s job.

Sophia and Jolie were standing in the corner with sinister looks on their faces as they stared Jake down with narrowed eyes and Jared gulped in fear as he crept forward causing the company to turn around.

Jake looked him up and down with a hungry stare and Jared shivered in disgust underneath the scrutiny and backed up as Lilly grinned and enveloped him in her arms “oh sweetie it’s so good to see you! I feel like you’ve been hiding from us!”

Jared averted his eyes and gave her a weak smile as he folded in on himself “I’ve just been busy is all—“

“We told you Jared made captain right? He’s been so busy with the team; they’ve got this big competition this weekend.”

Lilly turned and took off with his mom and chatted with her about Jared’s accomplishments and her own children leaving Jake to stand in front of him with a sinister smirk “are you feeling better? You seemed out of it the other night.”

Jared snarled “I wonder why.”

Jake snickered and reached his hand out to grab for Jared when Sophia stepped between them with a growl “I think maybe you should back up and find another part of the house to inhabit. Maybe in the den with dad.”

Jake looked her up and down before looking over at Jared who turned his head at the intense gaze of being busted.

He had never told anyone and now Jake was at risk of being caught.

When he left his sisters crowded him “are you ok?”

“I’m fine…I’ll be fine.”

He was till dinner.

Jared sat in his usual seat at the dinner table, which was normally between his sisters but tonight it seemed Jake had other plans as he sidestepped Sophia and took her spot causing her to pause and glared down at him.

“Excuse me Jake I think you’re in my seat.”

Jared’s mother smiled “oh honey why you don’t just sit by your father?”

Sophia looked back down at Jake her eyes sending him a warning before sitting across the table next to her father as she was told.

During dinner Jared couldn’t help but tremble with fear every time Jake moved or even breathed on him.

He felt trapped, like he couldn’t run because he knew if he did his family would really ask questions and he couldn’t deal with that right now.

He was taking a sip of his coke when a cracked hand slid up his inner thigh making him gasp and jump in his seat, Jake smiling out of the corner of his eye.

“Sweetie are you ok?”

“I’m fine just a cold chill is all.”

His mom smiled and turned back to her conversation with Lilly and Jared watched as his father talked with Jake completely obvious to his friends wandering hands.

He wanted to scream, he wanted to yell out the truth and fall in his mother’s arms with tears streaming down his face. He wanted to tell her about Jake, how he touched him, what he did to him and how many times he did it. He wanted to shake his father and ask him why he couldn’t see, why he couldn’t see that his friend was truly evil.

He wanted to crawl in a hole and never come out.

“Ssh Jared it’ll only hurt for a moment.”


	13. Closer

When Jensen opened his front door around midnight Jared was standing before it wet and trembling, his lips chattering and a look of fright in his eyes.

Jensen reached out and pulled Jared in and wrapped his arms around him trying to push his body heat onto Jared “baby what happened?”

Jared closed his eyes and held his arms close to his body as he sat on the couch “di—did you get my te—text?”

Jensen cursed and looked back to his phone which was sitting on the table “no baby I’m sorry it’s been dead all day, what happened? You’re shaking.”

Jared reached back and took the blanket off the couch and wrapped it around his shoulders “we had dinner tonight…with Jake and his wife.”

Jensen growled low in his throat and his grip on Jared’s thigh tightened making him squeak “he was there? He was in your house? Did he touch you?”

Jared looked down, his hair falling in his eyes “he touched my thigh…he didn’t do much else my sisters made sure of it. I just kept having these awful flashbacks.”

Jensen stood and reached for a book on the table and threw it across the room “fuck!”

Jared jumped and buried his face in the blanket and watched with lidded eyes as Jensen paced back and forth through the living room “fucking asshole he has no right to lay his hands on you!”

“You think he cares? He’s been doing this since I was 12 Jensen he only stopped a couple years ago and he’s always gotten away with it.”

Jensen turned around and bent down in front of Jared and held his hands “Jay I think its time you tell your parents—“

Jared shook his head and pulled his hands from Jensen’s grasp “I can’t do that they couldn’t take it.”

“I think their stronger than you give them credit for.”

“No Jensen,” Jared shook his head and bit back a sob “my mom would crumble. I’m the youngest, her only son I’m her baby she would freak out! And my dad... I’m pretty sure he would kill Jake.”

“And the problem with that is?”

“That I don’t want my dad spending his life in jail. You just don’t get it Jensen I want to tell them I do. Last night I wanted to scream it at them. They were all laughing, talking together like nothing was wrong with the world while I sat there and died. They didn’t notice, not one person noticed and if my sisters hadn’t known they wouldn’t either. It’s not that I’m hiding this from them because really I’m not they’ve never asked, they’ve never seen.”

Jensen frowned to himself and moved to sit on the couch and leaned back against the pillows and pulled Jared in his arms and twisted him to lean back on his chest. He calmly ran his fingers through Jared’s hair and pressed his lips to his ear “I know it’s not easy and it’s going to be hard but Jay you need to do it that man deserves to rot in jail.”

Jared closed his eyes as tears seeped out and huddled down in Jensen’s arms “I don’t think I can. I hate having to pretend I’m fine all the time. I just want to sit alone and cry. I just want to scream and shout and pour all my feelings out. I get so tired of trying to put myself together just to break again later—I think it would be better to stay broken. So I don’t think I can tell them because I don’t think they could understand.”

“You don't have to right now. How about this? I’m gonna draw you a bath and you can relax and then after that will go to bed and tomorrow will lay in bed all day and do nothing but watch movies?”

Jared smiled and looked dup at Jensen “thank you.”

Jensen pressed a kiss to his forehead “you are the finest, loveliest, tenderest, and most beautiful person I have ever known—and even that’s an understatement.”

 

Jared blushed as Jensen moved to pull him up making Jensen chuckle “you shouldn’t be shy baby I’m only telling the truth.”  
Jared woke the next morning to the warm sun shining on his back as he stretched languidly in bed, the flannel sheets slipping down his body making him shiver.

He rolled over to face Jensen who was still sleeping next to him and he smiled lazily at the sight. Last night Jensen had filled up the bath and given him time to relax before he crashed in bed and slept peacefully for the first time in a long time.

He reached carefully out to trace the small hairs of Jensen’s eyebrow and smiled as he twitched at the touch. It amazed him how truly lucky he was to have Jensen in his life, he knew there were some people out there dealing with the same thing as him who had no one.

It was wrong. This man was his teacher, this man should be looking out for him, this man should have a moral code but instead this man chose to love him.

He knew if his parents ever found out the truth they would flip out.

Finding out his having an affair with a teacher and that their best friend raped him would surely be enough for them to kill over. They would find out about Jensen sooner or later he knew that, he planned on that there’s no way in hell he would keep this man a secret longer than necessary.

But that other dirty secret? He hoped he could keep it till he was buried in the ground.

Jensen stirred next to him, his eyes blinking open sluggishly before zoning in on Jared’s glowing face and instantly he was awake.

The sun was shining down on Jared making his skin glow and his cheeks look red. His hair shone under the sun rays and his body was flush from the heat and Jensen thought he had never looked better.

Slowly, somewhat timidly, Jensen reached his hand out and brushed Jared’s hair back from his fox slanted eyes that he lost himself in at least 6 times a day. Jared’s eyes slipped closed at the feather light touch and Jensen watched with a tender smile as he leaned into it.

“I love you.”

Jared’s eyes blinked open and a serene smile lit up on his face and Jensen wished he could have that forever.

“I love you to.”

Jared bit his lip and moved closer throwing one arm around Jensen’s neck and the other played with the hair on his neck “Jen?”

“Hm?”

Jared blushed and chewed at his lips “do you—I mean do you think that we—will you make love to me?”

Jensen’s eyes widened in shock which only made Jared’s face grow redder and he started to move back but Jensen’s grip tightened around his waist and he moved to look Jared in the eyes “now? You really want to? Because I don’t want you to feel forced after everything you’ve been through and you had a rough night—“

Jared placed his finger on Jensen’s red lips and smiled “I’m sure. You’re not him…you’re the only man I want.”

Jensen melted at the words and nodded his head slowly before rolling over on Jared, his arms holding his weight.

Jared trailed his hands down Jensen’s smooth chest and watched as his eyes slipped closed with pleasure before he moved down and molded their lips together.

The sun was high in the sky and the sheets were down on the ground, the fan blowing above them chilling their sweat lidden bodies. 

When Jensen pushed in he looked to Jared’s face for signs of panic, trying to search for a flashback that might cross his face but it never came. Instead Jared’s mouth fell open and he let out a breath before he looked up at Jensen with a breathless smile “I’m ok…it’s ok.”

Jensen smiled down at him and pressed their foreheads together as his hips shifted slowly, trying to go at Jared’s pace.

 

Jared’s eyes closed, his hair was sticking to his forehead as he arched off the bed his hands scraping purchase on Jensen’s sticky back as their bodies moved slowly and gracefully like no one was around them.

Jensen squeezed his eyes shut tight at the heat that was flowing from Jared’s body making him feel crazy with want as his hips pisted quicker making Jared whine at the feeling.

Jensen reached down and gripped Jared’s thigh and pushed it up higher trying to get at a better angle and when he did Jared cried out and let out a winded gasp. He moved a hand to grip Jensen’s hair and gave a gentle tug making Jensen groan at the feeling and moved down to mouth at Jared’s wet neck.

Jensen shoved faster he could feel the heat building low in his stomach and he let out a low growl “close Jay are you close baby?”

Jared nodded quickly and let out a whimper of pleasure and moved his hips along with Jensen’s “me to Jen please I—“ he trailed off and arched up and let out a loud moan as white spurts hit Jensen’s stomach making him groan and follow.

Jensen collapsed and rolled off so he wouldn’t crush Jared and they both laid there panting, their breaths ragged and their bodies covered with sweat.

Jared closed his eyes and smiled and turned to look at Jensen and reached a hand over and stroked Jensen’s red cheek who turned and looked at him with lust blown eyes “thank you.”

Jensen smiled and rolled on his side and swallowed down a pant “no thank you for giving that to me.”

“It was always yours to have, someone just took it.”


	14. Found Out

A buzzing sounded through the house and Jared watched from his spot on the couch as his phone bounced around on the coffee table in front of him.

He chewed at his thumb nail as he leaned over and cringed when he saw his moms name pop up on the phone screen for the 6th time that day. He had been at Jensen’s for almost week and had been keeping out of contact with his parents except to send them a vague text saying he was with a friend and he was fine.

He sisters were begging him to come clean telling him his mom was sick with worry and his dad was growing frustrated from lack of communication. But he was scared.

He knew the right thing to do would be to tell his parents the truth but not only did he feel like his mother couldn’t take it but he wasn’t sure if he could either.

It was hard enough telling Jensen and his sisters but telling his parents? His parents who had known this man way before Jared was even thought about.

Would they believe Jake? Would they think Jared was lying?

He had never said anything before and never given them any indication that something like this had ever happened to him, in fact he locked himself down.

But then again there hasn’t been something right with him in quite a long time and if they couldn’t see it, it wasn’t his fault.

The front door slammed and Jared jumped in his seat and turned around to see Jensen walk in the Livingroom with a smile “hey how was your day?”

Jared pushed his phone away and smiled back “it was fine I just kind of laid around…how was school? Did I miss anything?”

Jensen shrugged and sat next to him, wrapping his arm around Jared’s shoulder “had a pop quiz but nothing important, nothing you’re not already up to date on.”

Jared pursed his lips and leaned his head back on Jensen’s shoulder “sorry I didn’t go to school todays I just wasn’t feeling like myself this morning…did Kenna and Maggie seem worried?”

“They looked confused when you didn’t come to class today, have you heard from them?”

“They called…but I can’t answer I mean what do I say? I’m pretty sure they’ve called my mom and they know I’m not there so they’re going to ask where I’ve been staying because both mom and them know I’m not home and I’m not with either one of them. There’s just too many questions.”  
Jensen pressed a kiss to Jared’s temple and kept his lips there “let’s order a pizza and watch movies all night. Will turn our phones off and just relax.”  
Jared hummed and leaned into Jensen’s touch “that sounds great.”

When the doorbell rang a couple hours later Jared wasn’t expecting to see Sophia on the other side with red eyes and pale cheeks.

“Sophia?” Jared stepped outside and closed the door behind him. “What’s wrong? What are you doing here?”

She gulped and looked down and wiped at her face “you need to come home.”

Jared frowned and cocked his head “and why’s that?”

She let out a shaky sigh and turned her head “because mom knows somethings up with you.”

“What do you mean?”

Jared watched as his sister avoided his gaze and he grew irritated “and whys that Sophia?”

“She found your diary Jared.”

Jared froze. He watched as his sister turned back to him with sad eyes and he felt like breaking. The world seemed to crash around him and he wanted nothing more than for a black hole to open up and swallow him.

“Ho—how?”

“She was snooping in your room. She’s been asking Jolie and I what’s going on with you and we’ve been avoiding her so I guess she got fed up and Jolie called me from class yesterday and told me mom had found something in your room. So I drove home this morning and she corned me and Jolie and showed us your journal. She knows Jared.”

Jared closed his eyes and let out a cracked sob and fell back against the door with a loud thud alerting Jensen inside.

Jensen opened the door and when Jared stumbled back he caught him and took one look at his face before glancing at Sophia “baby? What’s wrong?”

Jared turned and gripped Jensen’s shirt in his hands and looked up at him with teary, fear filled eyes “she knows…she knows Jensen.”

Jensen looked back to Sophia as he pulled Jared in his arms and tried to comfort him “how does she know?”

Sophia bit at her lip as a sob threatened to escape at seeing her brother crumble “my mom found his diary she read it all.”

“And what’s she going to do? I mean are they going to press charges?”

“That’s the problem. Their confused—“

Jared broke from Jensen’s arms and turned to his sister with wide eyes “she told dad?”

“Of course she did Jared. I think their having a hard time understanding—“

“You mean believing me? They don’t believe me?”

She sighed and crossed her arms “thankfully you were vague in your writing so she doesn’t know it’s their Jake.”

Jared scoffed “she has to I was 12 I wasn’t that vague she just doesn’t want to accept it.”

“You need to come home and talk to them, tell them your side.”

“It’s not that simple—“

“No its not but they know now Jared you can’t hide it anymore it’s time to face the music and send that bastard straight to hell.”


	15. Stepping Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think there might only be one chapter left guys. If you would like a sequel or a verse let me know in the comments.

When Jared walked in his house with he’s sister by his side with her arms wrapped tightly around him he felt like turning around and running away.

“It’s going to be ok Jay.”

Jared shook his head and gripped her hand tightly “no it’s not.”

They found their mother in the living room their dad by her side and Jolie sitting in the chair in the corner her eyes softening when he walked in.

His mother looked up at him and for once in his life he couldn’t read her. Her normally soft brown eyes were blank and her posture was stiff, her hands folded in her lap like she was trying to hold back from reaching to him.

Jared turned to Sophia who gave him an encouraging look and he gulped as he sat down in front of his parents and took a deep breath “why did you go through my room?”

“You weren’t exactly being honest with me and as your mother I have that right.”

Jared blinked at the firm tone of his mother’s voice and bit at his lip “you don't believe me?”

“Who’s Jake?”

Jared closed his eyes and scoffed his hand coming up to rub at his temples. Out of all the dumb things to say in the world this had to be the top one, there’s no way his parents were that clueless.

“You know who Jake is.”

His mother turned her head and his father let out an aggravated sigh “enough is enough son—“

Jared stood up with his fists clenched by his sides and his face turning red as he stared his parents down with watery eyes “your right enough is enough. I’m so sick and tired of pretending to be something I’m not, of lying every single day of my life, of keeping this secret inside me because it’s killing me. You’re my parents I shouldn’t have to sit here and make you believe me you just should. I think somewhere deep down you know it was him—you wanna know the truth? You wanna hear the details? Ok then. It started when I was 12 when you left me alone with him when Sophia had the ballet recital. It had been going on for while him touching me and saying weird things to I but I didn’t think anything of it. And then that night when I was asleep he came in my room, he took my clothes off and held me down while he raped me. He told me if I said anything he would do the same thing to Jolie and Sophia so I kept it to myself. But he didn’t stop there. Every time you left me alone with him he took another piece of me and each time it seemed bigger till finally there was nothing left of me. He raped me over and over again and you didn’t see it. You didn’t see it when you came home and I had bruises covering my body, you didn’t see the dried blood I left on thighs just hoping you would notice. You didn’t see the looks he gave me or how he touched me. How? Why didn’t you see?”

Jared watched as his mom folded in on herself, tears rushing down her cheeks as she bent over her lap and let out loud sobs. 

How his father cleared his throat and tried to calm the emotion down because his father just didn’t break down. He watched as his sisters held onto one another and tried to remain calm as he stood there before them open and bearing.

His mom wiped at her face and looked up at him with sorrow filled eyes “why didn’t you tell us?”

“I shouldn’t have to.”

His moms face crumbled and she leaned into his father who wrapped his arms around her “when did this stop?”

Jared let out a humorless laugh “it’s never stopped but it’s been 3 years since he raped me if that’s what you’re asking.”

His dad stood up and marched to his study with loud steps and a blank face Jared watched as he bumped by him and slammed the door making him jump.

“I’m so sorry sweetie.”

Jared turned back to face her, his bottom lip trembled and his eyes watered “your my mom and I love you but right now I can’t forgive you. I’ve been carrying this for years trying to figure out how to tell you or make you see and you never did. Jolie and Sophia could see it so why couldn’t you? Jensen could—“

Jared trailed off and looked down but his mom caught on “is Jensen this man from that night?”

“He is.”

“Who is he?”

“He’s my savior.”

“You mean your teacher?”

Jared froze, his blood pumping cold at his father’s harsh voice and ever so slowly he turned to look at his dads enraged face “how—“

“I’m not stupid son I’m more involved in your academic life than you think.”

His mom gasped and shook her head “a teacher? You’re having an affair with your teacher? Jared have you lost your mind?”

“No,” Jared whirled around with panicked eyes. “You have to understand mom I tried not to fall in love with him but he’s been there for me. He’s listened to me and helped me when no one else could. I know it’s wrong and you might be completely pissed off but no matter what you say I won’t stop seeing him, I won’t give him up.”

“We are your parents—“

Jared turned with a frown “then where were you? Where were you when your best friend was raping your son? Yes your my parents and I love you both but this is my life I’ve been locked in a shell for years trying to cope with what he did to me and now that I’m free I’m going to live my life.”

Jared nodded his head firmly and took another look at his sisters who sat in the corner with proud smiles before turning to his parents who looked at him somewhat shocked. He knew he was disobeying them and it wasn’t truly their faults for not noticing before but a part of him couldn’t help but blame them. This man was their friend who had been abusing him right under their noses and they never saw it.

This man had ruined his life.

Jared stood up straighter and smiled to himself before turning and walking out his the house with his head held high and a new found strength in his step.

 

When Jensen answered the door he gave no greeting and threw himself into Jensen arms making him stumble but grab him.  
“What happened? Are you—“

He trailed off when Jared pulled back with a grin on his face and Jensen frowned in confusion “you’re ok?”

“I told them the truth. I told them everything, how I felt, what he did to me everything.”

Jensen grinned and grabbed Jared’s cheeks and pressed a kiss to his lips “what happens now?”

“I think dads calling the lawyer and hopefully Jakes going to jail.”

Jensen let out a relieved sigh and pressed his forehead to Jared’s sweaty one “I love you, I love you so much.”

Jared closed his eyes and smiled and reached one hand out to stroke Jensen’s cheek, the other curling at the nape of his neck “I love you to… thank you for being there for me.”

Jensen kissed Jared’s nose and wrapped his arms around Jared’s waist “I would do anything for you Jared… anything.”

A loud buzzing woke Jared from his deep slumber. 

After the emotional recount Jensen had ordered take out and they had sat in front of the TV and lounged around eating junk food till midnight when Jared turned to him with a yawn, exhausted from the day’s events.

Jared leaned up and squinted his eyes in the darkness, lifting his head off Jensen’s chest. He looked down at Jensen and smiled lazily before rolling over to the nightstand and peeking at his phone.

“Jolie? Its 2 in the morning—“

“He was here.”

Jared sat straight up in bed, jostling Jensen in his sleep making him groan and roll over “what do you mean he was there?”

“I mean he came over before dad had a chance to call and bless him out and let’s just say it didn’t end well.”

“What happened?”

“He beat the shit out of him—black eye, bloody nose, the whole shebang. He told Jake he had no right to walk in our house and pretend he hadn’t hurt you like he did, to pretend like he hadn’t lied for years. Jake tried to deny it of course but well that was before dad busted he’s mouth till he couldn’t talk.”

“Oh my god…did he call the cops?”

“Dad did after he beat him to death and when they got there dad told them what happened, what he did and they took him in. The court hearing is next Wednesday.”

Jared let out a winded breath “Wednesday? So soon?”

Jared reached down and slapped Jensen on the chest making him groan and look up at Jared with groggy eyes “what the hell—  
who are you talking to?”

Jared put the phone on speaker.

“I know it’s soon…they want you to take the stand.”

Jared closed his eyes and ran his hand down his throat “oh my god…what about—does Lilly know?”

Jolie sighed on the other end as Jensen leaned into Jared’s shoulder and brushed his stubble along the bare skin making Jared shiver. 

“I think so mom tried to call her but she didn’t answer.”

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

“Jared you told the truth, you stood up for yourself trust me you can do this will be there with you.”

Jared nodded and took a deep breath “I think I’m going to stay with Jensen till the court date.”

Jolie snuffed a laugh “you practically live with him anyway oh! Mom told me to tell you if you’re happy she’s happy.”

Jared smiled and leaned into the phone “love you.”

“Love you to little bro.”

When Jared clicked the phone off he and Jensen fell back on the pillows and he rolled back into Jensen’s arms “so your dad beat the shit out of the guy?”

Jared smirked “I guess so…I never thought my dad would kick someone’s ass.” Jared looked up as he traced circles on Jensen’s chest “will you be there?”

“Of course I will .”


	16. Pushing for the Future

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No joke I think this is one of the best stories I have ever written. I want to thank everyone for the encouragement I am so glad you enjoyed this story! Remember let me know if you want a sequel or a series! I am down for both.

That next Wednesday Jared was shaking as he sat on the cold wooden bench in the stuffy court room. He had been dreading this moment all week and now in the moment, sitting between his sisters he wanted nothing more than to bolt.

School had been hard for him the coming up week he felt like everyone was staring at him, like they knew his secret and was just waiting for him to burst it out.

Kenna was the first to come up to him her big eyes full of concern as she looked Jared up and down and pulled him in a corner “are you ok?”

“Of course why wouldn’t I be?”

“Oh I don’t know because you’ve been MIA all week and haven’t talked to me, Maggie or Chad and we’ve been worried to death? I even called your house and your mom said you’re staying with a friend but I know you weren’t with any of us…what’s going on Jared?”

Jared closed his eyes and gripped his bag tighter. He felt like the walls were closing in on him as he stood under Kenna’s intense gaze “I really don’t—“

“I don’t care if you wanna talk about it you’re going to. I’m your best friend, or I’m supposed to be you should come to me if somethings wrong not run away from me.”

“It’s not like that Ken it’s just complicated and I don’t want you in it.”

She frowned and jerked back, hurt slapping across her face “your problems are my problems Jared that’s how friendship works.”

Jared ducked his head and looked out at the hallway where students were rushing by them to get to class which he knew he would be late for.

“You know Mr. Ackles has been absent quite a lot as well.”

Jared’s eyes widened and he turned around to face Kenna who was looking at him with eyes that told him she knew what he wouldn’t say.

“I don’t know what your—“

Kenna scoffed and raised her hand “yes you do Jared I’m not stupid I’ve seen it we all have you’re not hiding anything from us I just thought I would let you live your fantasy a little longer. I know somethings going on with you two but I’m not judging you because I knew the first day he saw you there was something there. What I’m pissed about is I know that’s not what’s bothering you so come out with it.”

So Jared told her. During lunch he gathered her, Maggie, and Chad up and they crowded around in the library in the back where no one ever entered and he told them everything.

It had been hard to see their faces but he could never tell them, they didn’t know him from that time and he didn’t want to bring the past to his present. He wanted, if possible to keep things for himself.

So now Kenna, Maggie, Chad, and Jensen sat behind him in the court room and as he turned to face them, looking for encouragement, they didn’t let him down as they all shot big smiles at him making his heart melt.

Suddenly the door burst open and two guards came in on either side of Jake his wife behind him, her eyes dull and lifeless and her hair flat. She looked nothing like the Lilly he knew.

Jake’s piercing eyes found him and narrowed with hate, his lips snarled up showing his white teeth making Jared shiver and turn his head, leaning into his sister.

“Will everyone rise.”

Jared stood numbly as he listened to the judge talk and sat back down when the hammer smacked the wooden block. He felt like he was moving through space, like something was forcing him to be there but he didn’t want to be.

His sister shook his shoulder and he turned to face the front where the judge was looking at him “what?”

“I said would you come to the stand?”

Jared let out a shaky breath and stood on wobbly legs, turning to cast a look back at Jensen who nodded at him and gave him a smile.

“State your name.”

“Jared Tristan Padalecki.”

“Jared you’re here today because you claim you were sexually abused is that right?”

“Yes sir.”

“Can you point the man out for me?”

Jared gulped and pointed with an unsteady hand at the man who looked back at him with cold, calculating eyes. The eyes that have haunted him half his life. The eyes that looked down at him with cruel delight, the eyes that stared at him in hunger. “He’s right there.”

All in all Jake got life in prison.

When Jared walked out of the court room he felt free. He felt like he had been restrained for so many years and with a simple sentence the shackles were broken and he could do anything, he could go anywhere.

This man had no power over him anymore. Sure he knew his depression would stay and the memories would still be there and they would haunt him, he could never forget what happened. But now when he turned his shoulder he wouldn’t worry if Jake would be there, when he got home he wouldn’t look for his car.

His mom had cried when the sentence was announced. For joy or sorrow he wasn’t sure. His father had closed his eyes and let out a deep breath that sounded like it had been held awhile before clapping Jared on the shoulder. His eyes seemed heavy like he was having trouble deciding which emotion to settle with and Jared understood.

His entire father’s life he thought he had knew this man. He thought this man was his friend who wouldn’t dare hurt another soul only to find out he had been raping his only son in the dead of night behind everyone’s backs.

The first thing Jared had done was run into Jensen’s waiting arms and closed his eyes in relief as he was spun around, a gentle kiss settling on his ear and deep puffs warming his neck. He pulled back and smiled up at Jensen, his hand curling around his neck and his other tracing the freckles on the man’s face “I love you.”

Jensen grinned, his eyes crinkling and his face brightening “I love you to baby.”

Jared smiled and closed his eyes to lean in, to press their lips together, to finally get that kiss and not hold anything back—  
Jared turned as a soft tap hit his shoulder and he gasped as Lilly stood before him. He watched as his sisters moved behind her, waiting to defend their little brother.

But Jared watched as the woman before him crumbled. Her normally put together façade was gone and this woman before him wasn’t Lilly.

She sniffed and looked up at him with red eyes “I am so sorry Jared…I didn't know I would have never thought he would—“she trailed off with a sob and blinked back tears as she reached for Jared’s hand. “You’ve been like my son and when I found out what he did I was sick to my stomach. I’m not angry with you just myself for not seeing it before, for not seeing those touches. But maybe I did…maybe I just couldn’t admit it. So I’m sorry sweetie and I hope you’ll forgive me.”

Jared blinked dumbly as he stood before her, his hand limp in hers. “It—it’s not your fault. No one knew what he did it’s no one’s fault but Jakes.”

She nodded slowly and looked over his shoulder at his parents “and they didn’t see?”

Jared snorted and shook his head “no one did…except Jensen.” Jared turned and smiled at the man who smiled back, his hand falling on his shoulder.

Lilly looked down at the touch and smiled softly and patted Jared’s hand “I hope your happy honey you deserve it.” She leaned up and kissed his cheek before nodding at his parents and walking out the door into the cool fall air.

Jared closed his eyes and turned to his family who looked at him expectantly “why don’t we get some lunch?”

His mom smiled and took her husband’s hand “that sounds like a wonderful idea.”

Slowly the family made their way to the doors and Jensen trailed behind cautiously he still hadn’t spoken to Jared’s parents and he wasn’t sure what to expect from them.

Jared’s mom paused as they made it to the car and turned “Jensen?”

Jensen jumped and turned to Jared’s mom “yes ma’am?”

His mom smiled her polite smile “would you like to join us?”

Jared turned his eyes to his father who looked down at his mother before he looked to Jensen.

Jensen glanced at Jared unsure and watched as he received a smile and a nod in return “that would be great ma’am.”

Jared grinned and reached for Jensen hand and rubbed his nose against Jensen’s jaw. 

For the past 4 years he felt like he was drowning, like he couldn’t come up for air and he thought he might die that way. Lonely and tangled but then Jensen came into the picture and completely changed his life. Jensen gave him the courage to do something he never thought he could and now the man who had hurt him was locked up and would never get out, he had told his parents the truth of their so called friend and he had fallen in love with the best man he had ever met.

Once Jared had been broken, sure that the pieces of him would never be recovered but now he thought maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to put himself back together?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I would like to remind all of you that this is fiction with someday abased on my life. Their relationship progressed quickly yes it did I intended it that way. Jared went his whole life without real love and he went after it when he got it. I am not a police officer I don't know all the laws and I'm not following them in this story if all this is to hard for you to understand don't read.


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